The Book: Being The Adult They Need

This book didn’t start as a plan.

It started in the quiet moments after work, driving home, sitting with something that didn’t quite sit right, replaying conversations and wondering if I’d got it wrong. It grew out of the space between doing the work and trying to understand it.

I’ve spent years working with children who carry more than they should have to. Children whose behaviour doesn’t always make sense on the surface, but always makes sense when you look a little deeper. Like many people in this work, I started out trying to manage what I could see. The behaviour, the outbursts, the moments that felt difficult. But over time, that began to change.

This book is about that shift. The move from managing behaviour to understanding what sits beneath it. From reacting in the moment to reflecting afterwards. From asking “How do I stop this?” to asking “What’s really going on here?”

It isn’t a manual, and it isn’t a list of strategies or quick fixes. It’s definitely not about getting it right all the time. It’s a collection of reflections, moments from the work, things I’ve got wrong, and things I’m still working out. The kind of thoughts that don’t always get written down, but shape how we show up day after day.

Because this work stays with you. In the quiet moments. In the drive home. In the times you find yourself wondering whether you handled something the way a child needed you to.

If you’ve ever felt that, this book is for you.

I’m still writing it. Still learning. Still reflecting. If you want to follow along as it develops, I’ll be sharing more here.